About Love.



Do you think you know about love
He says no, but I think I felt it once alittle bit.
Like, fresh rose petals under your feet,
like marble pieces spread under your pillow -

So tell me how you know its for real
I asked.
Its always for real if it kind of hurts,
and its so soft and small and vulnerable -
like you want to walk but you know that'll crush em,
like you want to sleep but you cant cos it's all you feel. 
That its so likely in the end you'll cripple yourself 
in trying not to expose it, to keep it, to protect it,
and the thing itself.

Do you think you know about love he asks -
and I think to myself, I feel it for real right now.
Like I'm walking on rose petals I don't want to tear,
like I want to sleep but there are pebbles laid beneath my sheets.
and it feels all so delicate, so faint and breakable
that it's hurting me to try and hold it, to keep it, to protect it,
and the thing itself.

But I won't tell you I'm hurting and I feel how you felt,
and won't let it show that I'm soft, and I'm small and I'm vulnerable.
That it's crippling me to be hiding it, not to expose it, 
to keep it, to protect it, and the thing itself...

I say no, I don't know not one thing about love.

J.

Time.


Time eventually makes you wake up to a lot of things you may have been oblivious to. Sometimes to the good in the world, sometimes to the bad - all you can do is try to not lose faith as it all unfolds... J.

Blew.



 jarred cherry jam and sweeter still
I think you smiled and snowflakes rained,
moon licked oceans under midnight skies
all sprinkled in pixie dust, here was love again!

 cheeks rosed up and hearts heaved full
I think your smile makes stars a come fallin'
sun melted in on honey combed waters,
this is for forever, yes I believe it darlin'.

...Oh yeah - so you came into my life,
and just
 blew,

me,

away.

J.

Just be.





The older I get, the more my patience wears thin on just quietly being able to stand people acting out on their juvenile insecurities, and inferiority complexes. We all just need a moment to realise that we're all fucking crazy, accept it and just learn, to be. J.


Summer.



Lemon blooms and summer zest -
smells of lime peels all freshly pressed
rest your head on my knobbly knees
and love me like this forever please,

Firefly lights with the moon afloat
I'll read you out loud this poem I wrote,
my head rested on your steady shoulder -
love me like this a little longer.

J.

Blue.




I do not mean to sound cliche. And I take nothing in this life too seriously.  I do not need help, or something, or anyone and I am not seeking comfort, and I am not lonely, and there are no tears, and I don't want to cry. But I have to admit I am always and always sad, like I carry this inexplicable, nameless sack of sadness with me all of the time. There is nothing wrong.  And in fact everything feels right.  I am, truly, not unhappy.  Everything is fun, there is so much to be done and more adventures to be had, and I am so utterly content in the life I've been given. Nothing feels amiss. I am moving in pace  with time, though maybe a little out of sync at times but I am not in fear of fate. I am also too,  so in knowing of all my blessings, these limbs and this youth, all of the amazing beauty I see around me, all this love I am in receipt of, endlessly protecting me...and I am so unattached and distanced to complex emotions and people as I have never been before and have never yet felt so free.  But just sometimes, very sometimes. For no real reason at all, it just gets real heavy up in here.  When all of the sad songs I know and films, books and every sad thought I keep just couldn't console this sore spot staining my heart blue.  And I lay down, close my eyes, whilst half heartedly trying to fall asleep and I find myself thinkin' -  I wouldn't be too much bothered, if I never woke up. J. 


September.



September september, hurry on over September, my girl's bringing herself to London in September, and that's when I'll hold her and tell her I love her. September September, hurry on over, September. J.


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